Thoughts & Feelings

2003-06-25T12:31:00.000-07:00

Life is interesting at times.

This morning our school is in a "Lock Down," which means that all the doors are closed, all the kids are in the classrooms, and no one can go out until the Lock Down is lifted. I snuck out to go pee, and saw that what they are actually doing is a class by class search of rooms and lockers and kids. They have a drug- and explosives-sniffing dog running through the rooms and along the lockers. They tell the kids to admit to whether they are in possession of anything illegal, because the dog willact if it smells anything on them.

I know this because they pulled the same thing last year in my classroom (I have no students first hour, so they don't feel the need to look in my room this time). My kids were lined up along the wall and made to empty pockets. Any contraband was confiscated (in the case of my kids that year, one was found with quite a bit of gang paraphenalia in his pockets). The dog then ran down the line of lockers, stopped at one of them, and started pawing at it. Officers opened it and found a baggie (empty) in it. They bagged the baggie and took note of the locker number so they could learn who had been assigned it. The gang boy was escorted off to one side, told his parent/guardian would be notified, and then allowed to return to class.

Another problem we've had recently even made the local paper. Apparently a couple of students brought a cat to school; strangled it, stabbed it, and threw it around the hallway. When it was removed and put in a dumpster, they got it out and returned it to the hallway. The assistant principal called in the cops and suspended the kids for the maximum number of days (10), but the parents went to the school board and the principal allowed them back on campus after only 5 days. The assistant principal refused to sign a paper agreeing to this, and the principal allegedly told her she should resign. Since she's still at work, I assume she hasn't resigned. The principal also made a statement denying the whole incident. Ugly business, no matter how you look at it.

I also learned yesterday that a former student of mine, who was a graduate two years ago (I think) committed suicide by hanging himself. His mother is one of the secretaries in the front office, and she was not at work yesterday. I was stunned, because he didn't seem to be the suicidal type. I guess you really never do know for sure.

Anyway, today is stressful, so I think I'll play with more quizzes....

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What kind of bagel are you?
Another pointless diversion from Bijouriel

2003-05-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

Only 3 days of school left this year. The students are wired, the teachers are wired, and no one wants to do anything constructive.

Graduation is Saturday. I may actually make it this year.

2003-04-03T10:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it isn't my last post. May as well have as many places to write in as I can. Heehee. April is crit challenge month, and so far I've posted 11 crits for the month. Go me!

2003-03-27T08:22:00.000-08:00

This will probably be my last post here, since I have found livejournal a bit more what I want. I'll keep the other blogger journal, though.

2003-03-10T10:13:00.000-08:00

I have a new blog page over at livejournal.com. it is: http://www.livejournal.com/users/carolhelga/

I know, blogger won't activate the link, but you can still go look. I may keep blogger a while, though, since I have quite a lot on it now.

2003-03-07T14:06:00.000-08:00

Almost the end of the quarter, and the kids are getting spring fever. It is sunny and warm outside, and keeping them interested right before spring break is rather difficult. :)

Difficult for me, too. I want to be OUTSIDE.

2003-03-06T09:13:00.000-08:00

Next week Wednesday is my turn to be the focus of the Focus chat. I'm starting to get nervous about it. Not scared--I know these people really do want to help me improve, and they are my friends. They are! They are! ::beating down the Doubtmonster::

I'm in process of working on my Moon story. It has taken me longer to get started than I had intended. I think with the end of the quarter coming up, I'm more concentrated on grades than on writing. But the grading pays the bills. The writing, for now, is all for fun.

2003-03-05T12:25:00.000-08:00

Some people are very hard to love.

A young man who had been in my class came by today to drop out of school. He's 20 years old as of January, and has only reached the credit standing of a sophomore. I wonder how he got that far. He speaks rudely to others, he gets in fights (probably because he speaks rudely to others), he rarely does his work in class. I hate to admit it, but I'm really glad he's now out of here. No more wondering if he'll return and make my third hour class hell.

Yet dang it all he can be a really likable guy. He could charm the black off a crow, if he put his mind to it. He can do very thoughtful things. He's smart--mostly street smarts, because he isn't a very good student--and I can see him being successful as a mechanic (only class he never ditched, from what I understand). I'd be more than happy to let him work on my car any time.

Unless you got on his bad side. I seem to be one of the few teachers he was even remotely polite to most of the time, and he had his episodes with me, too. He might mess up the car more just out of spite, though I really can't see him doing that. He'd be more likely to overcharge, probably. :D

I read through Carol Burrell's "Unfallen" chapters so I can be intelligent at the focus group tonight. I'll read it through at least once more before I head for home--and write down some thoughts before they get away from me. I've had two crits on my Eagle's Wings story already, and my focus isn't till next week. Larry found all sorts of misspellings and such--I'm sooooo embarassed. Leo had some good points to make. At least he made me think about a few things. He doesn't have anything posted at the moment, but I've got him on my telltales now so I can look when he does.

I still have a big pile of pieces I want to crit. Perhaps over my spring break I can catch up a bit. Larry will just have to understand that I'm not as fast at critting as he is at posting.

We've been having some discussion on the mailing list about how to improve the process of critting, especially with the newer members. I'm afraid that my method of critting rather ignores the newer folks, because I tend to crit people I've critted before or people who have only three or four crits on their piece. With the workshop's system of "rescuing" undercritted work that has 2 or fewer crits, the 3-4 crit folks sometimes get forgotten. I know that I like to have at least 5 crits on a piece before I pull it down--more if possible.

I finally got an idea for the moon story. I don't know if I'll get it done in time to post for March, but at least I have an idea now.

2003-03-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

And then there is this one....

Which HP Kid Are You?

2003-03-03T13:35:00.000-08:00

And another...

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
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2003-03-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

Quizzes. Gotta love 'em.

I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

2003-02-28T12:44:00.000-08:00

We actually had snow that stuck for a change. Whoohoo! We really do need the moisture, even if the mess it leaves can be ugly.

And because of the ice on the roads, the schools were on a two-hour delay. So, I didn't have to be at work until 10:00. That was a nice change, because I was able to go to the grocery store before the crows hit. Go me!

Looks like I will be able to make it into Phoenix tomorrow--the interstates, at any rate, are clear. Wet, but clear.

2003-02-27T13:54:00.000-08:00

We made it to the conference and back without any road difficulties. On the way over, we were mostly ahead of the storm, and on the return trip, while we ran into snow and fog, the roads were never icy or snow-packed.

We didn't avoid all the glitches though. Glitch #1, when we arrived, we discovered that, contrary to our written information, the hotel did not have the payment on our rooms. We decided to stay in one room (to save money) and my co-worker put the cost on her credit card, with the understanding that when we called the next day to straighten things out, she would be reimbursed. Glitch #2, the next morning when we went to register for the workshop, they had no record of our registration or payment thereof.

Co-worker got on the phone to let the person who had supposedly arranged all these things. While she was waiting for someone to answer, the workshop people came over to where we were and said they had our names and registration down for Thursday in Phoenix and not for Wednesday in Albuquerque. Since we had paid and were registered (albeit for the other session), they said we could attend this one since we were paid for. So that left only the hotel snafu.

At each break, we would check to see if the fax showing the payment had arrived. At each break, we were told that, no, nothing in either of our names had come through. We were beginning to get worried. Finally, at the end of the workshop, we tried one more time, and lo and behold, they did have the information. It had been received under the name of our school and not under our names. Relief, but frustration none the less.

Arrived back home about 8:00 pm, too late to join in the Merry-Death focus, darnit. Probably just as well. I was so sleepy when I got home all I wanted to do was get into my jammies and crawl into bed. The cat, however, had other ideas. He decided that he wanted to use me as a toy, and I found out it's time for me to trim his nails. Owww!

Managed to get a decent night's sleep, though. I have finally a glimmer of an idea for the March Moon challenge, so I will be working on that over the next few days. Probably won't get it posted till next week, though. I've also almost finished my edit of Eagle for my focus post. That will probably go up later next week.

So, although I didn't get a lot of writing done, I did learn a lot at the workshop and I'm glad I went. Now to try implementing some of the things and see how my students react.

2003-02-25T12:48:00.000-08:00

Oh, crap.

Have a workshop to attend in Albuquerque, and the weather is sucky, and (not to anyone's surprise) the school transportation authority will NOT let us use a four-wheel drive vehicle. Noooooo, we have to take the Chevy Lumina.

I told the girl who gave me the keys that if we got stuck, it wasn't our fault.

I-40 has to be about the worst interstate when it comes to icing over. Feh.

At any rate, I will be afk at least through Thursday morning, so I hope my mailbox doesn't get too stuffed. And if we end up stuck in Albuquerque, at least my classes are prepared.

Bet they don't give us the per diem for the extra day, though. Feh.

I could be borrowing trouble. The road could be fine and our path clear. I don't particularly want to be stuck longer, so why am I looking at the negative possibilities?

2003-02-21T09:39:00.000-08:00

Last night in the chat room the gang all helped me get my plot straight on my Eagle story. I also now realize that will have to be my focus piece--so I need to do a tad of editing from the comments made last time I had it posted, and give it a shiny new polish before reposting it.

I need ot get it posted by the first week in March.

I also would like to try the monthly challenge (the Moon), but I'm totally blank at the moment. Perhaps this weekend I can get something started.

2003-02-20T12:19:00.000-08:00

Mood: sicky and sarcastic ?:-/

I tried posting yesterday, but for soem reason Blogger wasn't responding. Not that I had that much to say. Just that I had a cold, again. Bleh.

Today when I got into my room my voice mail blinker was blinking, and so I listened and found out that my supervisor was going to evaluate me today, third hour. She had to have left it after 5 pm yesterday. Big lead time, there, Ma'am.

Fortunately, I've been teaching long enough that being observed for evaluation never fazes me any more. Anyhoo, I quickly printed up a copy of my lesson plans for that hour (I hadn't written it down yet, but knew what I'd be doing) and delivered it to her with the comment that I didn't look very professional today (blue jeans, walking shoes, tee-shirt). She just snorted as if that wasn't a big deal (it isn't--most teachers here dress very casually compared to when I was in high school).

So she got to watch me give examples and illustrate how language when giving a speech differs from language when giving a written report. The students were really good -- my two main troublemakers were absent, for a blessing -- and responded well. My supervisor seemed pleased with my performance as well as the students' performance. I have the post evaluation tomorrow morning during my prep hour.

I rarely get any low marks on my evaluations--maybe one area to "improve" (usually relating to preparing the students, surprisingly), the rest all good or excellent. Some years only good or excellent....maybe I'll get that this year, too.

I went to Kishma's focus. Since I intend to be a focusee soon, I thought I'd better start seeing how others do the focusing so I know what to look for and at. I'll miss next week's focus on Merry-death because (if all goes well) I'll be returning from a workshop and won't get home till late. Bother.

I'm looking through some of my work and trying to decide which, if any, could be good for focusing on. If none seem worth it, I may have to do something new. I'd rather use something from previous posts, edited, and see if I've improved, though.

My therapy session is tonight, moved from Tuesday because the psychologist was on vacation. Also this afternoon, before leaving work, we are having a meeting for our state testing proceedures. Boooooring. I know what my job will be--I run the testing materials to and from the classrooms, and I give two proctors breaks. That's what I get for not having a home-room. At least this time my room won't be a testing room.

The test is in three parts, with more on the way as they are developed. The ones current are the Writing test (that's next Tuesday), the Math test (April 29) and the Reading test (April 30). Not to mention that the Stanford 9s are also coming up in late March.

Hey! Let's just test the kids! Why bother teaching anything?

2003-02-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

A TAN Dragon Lies Beneath!

I took the Inner Dragon online quiz and found out I am a Tan Dragon on the inside. My Inner Dragon is the true draconic magic-user. Tans have been all but forgotten in popular literature, but that suits them just fine. They're slightly shy and spend most of their time in impassable mountain valleys. When feeling brave or adventurous, Tans use their shape-shifting ability to blend in with society. Given a choice, however, Tans still much prefer to be left to their own devices.

I like to spend time devising new and interesting spells, and counting my gigantic treasure. My favorable attributes are longevity, security, magic, and reverence for life. To top it off, my breath weapon is a curious mix of Fire and Air. Just tell folks to watch out, like all Tans I've got a seriously short temper!

2003-02-07T10:03:00.000-08:00

Had parent-teacher conferences last night, and I had 11 parents show up. For me, that's a good turnout. Some of them were parents I really did want to see, too.

For example, I have a young lady (sophomore) who has decided to not come to school. Her mother had no idea she had been skipping classes. I know now that I'm one of the teachers whom she actually sees on occasion. At least one teacher said she has yet to set foot in her class. Perhaps now that she knows we know, she'll improve. Perhaps not, though...this morning she was wandering in the halls (though she had a written hall pass in hand, so was "legitimately" out of class.

Some days I feel frustrated that I can't convey to these teens that it is much to their advantage to attend school now, and get that diploma, rather than depend on taking a GED. But all I can do is my best. I can't force them to act as I wish they would--they have to choose their own path.

I still wish I had more influence with some of them, though.

I've decided that one of the best forms of releasing frustration is to take a character based on the person who I'm frustrated about and write that person into some scenario where s/he gets his/her just desserts. Heheh.

2003-01-29T14:02:00.000-08:00

Weather gloating.

As so many of the people whose blogs I read have been grumbling about their crappy weather, I thought I'd brag on us a bit.

Average high this week: 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Sun shining, with high thin clouds and a light breeze out of the southwest.
Average low this week: 28 degrees Fahrenheit.

The air is so dry, no frost forms, so no need to scrape windshield. We could use some rain or snow, either one, but I have to admit it is nice to be able to sit on my balcony in my shorts and enjoy the evening (before the sun goes down, anyway.)

2003-01-28T10:41:00.000-08:00

Managed to post my What Price A Sparrow prologue. Or maybe it's chapter 1. Well, I'm calling it a prologue because it feels like a prologue. So there. Written as best as can be from my memory of the story, since I can't for the life of me find it or remember where I put it. I have a horrible feeling it's lost on the hard drive of my very old computer....

2003-01-28T08:07:00.000-08:00

AOL finally restarted my account, after about two months of my grumbling to my back and to AOL about my billing. Why my bank didn't pay them (I had the funds, ferpetesake!) is still a mystery to me, but now I'm back. They don't know it yet, but I'm planning a switch to a different domain for my major internet things, and AOL will be just out of luck. So there!

Didn't write on my own stuff, but managed 3 (or was it 4?) crits by email on pieces I had downloaded a while back but didn't get to until yesterday. So I feel I accomplished at least a little bit. I think I have about 18 more pieces already downloaded for critting, so looks like I'll be well occupied for a while. Heh.

2003-01-24T13:47:00.000-08:00

I rock.

I wrote 1000 words today. That's about 800 words more than I usually get out. And I'm not finished yet. I hope to get some more done this evening and maybe even this weekend. I may get this thing roughed out and then it's all gravy.

Now if I could just do that much consistently. :)

2003-01-22T14:31:00.000-08:00

I'm about fagged.

I'm not sure why I'm so lacking energy today--maybe because I was so energetic yesterday. I don't feel bad, just ennervated. Bleh. I did manage a few more crits today. Maybe I'm a bit overcritted out...

On the writer's workshop ML we've been having a thread about critting (again). One of our perennial topics! Anyway, as a "master reviewer" I'm obviously familiar with methods of critting. I've tried different things over the years and I think I've finally landed on what works best for me.

Step One: Read the piece through just for general comprehension and plot information.
Step Two: Note, based on the workshops 5 categories, what works and what doesn't.
Step Three: Read through again, this time paying attention to details such as grammar, spelling, conventions, sentence structure, etc.
Step Four: Make note of any line edit nits that are particularly noticible, and also make note of exceptionally good spots.
Step Five: Write the critique and post it to the workshop.

I still haven't completely stopped using the ratings (1-5), probably because as a teacher I'm sorta programmed to "grade" work. I tend to use the numbers as I would letter grades, I know--1=F, 2=D and one up. I seem to give lots of 3s. :)

I'm debating whether to try posting the scenes leading up to my current posting "What Price A Sparrow?" I think maybe, so long as I left the current posting up, and indicated what the new posting was (a lead in, as it were), it might garner some interest. I need to think about it some more, though, and I have three other projects as it is that I'm working on at present. I just reread my WPAS, and I have to say, I really like it. I want to finish it.

2003-01-21T14:06:00.000-08:00

Oh, yes, and I also did three crits today. Whoo hoo!

2003-01-21T14:04:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling good today.

I found an old, old, old piece I wrote over 25 years ago--an old Star Trek fan-fic from when the original series was the only thing out there. Reading it through, I was thinking, "Ugh! Where did that come from? Eww! What was I thinking? Ack! How did that get there?" and such. But then my brain started revving. "I can keep this for another story, the plot sucks, but if I do this then it will be so much better. Have to drop all the references to the series, of course, but that's no biggie. The main character I created is great, needs a bit more background to give her an edge, but hey, she would make one heck of a protag if I let her."

So I'm writing again, and this looks very much like a workable short story. Not a novel, not yet anyway, but that's cool because my usual problem is I don't know how to stop and make a short. Flash fic is no problem, but if I go over 5000 words, all the sudden I'm writing yet another novel. This story I'm now working on looks like it may run about 15,000 tops. Cool deal! As soon as I've finished my first draft, it's going on the workshop.

Whatever funk I was in before with my writing, this seems to have given me new energy. I may even finish my final edit of my novel now! Publishing world, here I come...maybe slowly, but getting there...

2003-01-16T12:22:00.000-08:00

I wonder what it would be like to be Charlie right now...two stories up for nods.

Wow.

Got one crit done so far today...not sure I'll have time for another. My own writing is calling me.......Some days the job just gets in the way of writing, doesn't it?

2003-01-14T12:26:00.000-08:00

The best laid plans...

So much for critting. Bah.

Howsomever, I don't feel too bad because I was reading, which is almost as good as writing. I had forgotten our schedule was shortened today to allow for teacher inservices, so instead of having time to crit, my time is short. And tomorrow I'm in the computer lab with the kids teaching them how to search for info (some still don't know how to do that). So I'll be running from computer to computer to be sure they're doing what they're supposed to do and not just playing.

It's so much fun being a high school teacher, especially some days.

If anyone reading this has never read Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, I highly recommend it. What a scary look at a world that makes women objects par excellance! I'm a conservative Christian, and this scared me.

Next up to read is another book I've put off forever--I'm attempting Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea. I think that will read quickly, though, since it's pretty short.

I have a headache, but I suspect it's a caffeine withdrawal headache--I haven't had any today. If at the meetings we have drinks with caffeine in them, I may take one to see if it helps my headache.

Unless it's yet another cold trying to take hold....

Please, not another one!

2003-01-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

Grammar. Ah, the joys of teaching grammar.

I'm starting my students on the skill of creating diagrams of sentences. I think it's lots of fun, but then I know I'm weird. Actually, I admit I didn't really like grammar and diagramming sentences until I got to college. Then I had a teacher who made it actually enjoyable. I do try to do the same for my students, but sometimes I think it is a losing cause. Since I don't want to totally overwhelm my students, I only do discrete grammar stuff on Mondays. The rest of the week is more reading and writing (and for the Sophomores, speech), without worrying as much about whether they've understood the difference between a nominative complement and an adjectival complement.

On the writing front, I got almost 1000 words out over the weekend. Not all in one place, but nonetheless quite an accomplishment for me. I am intending to spend much of my free time tomorrow critting, because I'm falling way behind on my personal critting goals. I may be able to get out at least 2, maybe 3 crits. We'll see how things go.

My voice is almost back to 100%. I still have a distressing tendancy to squeak if I try to sing too high or talk too loudly, but the cough has calmed considerably and the sinuses are no longer infected. Hurrah for antibiotics!

2003-01-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

Sure would be fun to know how to do these quiz thingys...

My most recent silly quiz I found:

Take the "Which Marvel Comics Hero are you" quiz!

2003-01-09T09:35:00.000-08:00

New Beginnings

Ah, the start of a new semester--with all the hopes and fears that entails. My sophomores get to learn about giving speeches. I love teaching speech--and getting them to memorize the Gettysburg address is always a treat. My three years with Toastmasters, International is a big help in my planning.

The freshmen, on the other hand, will get to write stories. My intent is to take them through the process of writing fiction, and help them prepare their stories to take to the elementary students (if they are appropriate--some of my boys tend to enjoy being a bit raunchy). Today we're looking at creating characters. I'm concentrating on protagonists today. Tomorrow I will briefly touch on the difference in first and third person, so we can start creating a story as soon as possible. I will let them decide if they prefer first or third.

My own writing is still in edit mode. I need to totally rewrite one scene in my novel, and I've been putting it off by making the rest of the manuscript printout-worthy. I won't be able to do that much longer, though, because I'm almost finished with the proofing. Dang. Well, I know where I want to go, but getting a good starting point is making it hard to begin. I suppose I could work my way backwards...

I still haven't got my voice back all the way, but it is much better than it was earlier this week. I almost sound normal--just a little squeak if I try to speak too loudly. More problematic is my cough, which is still pretty wracking. My sinuses have cleared up, mostly, though. Hurrah for antibiotics!

2003-01-06T14:12:00.000-08:00

I'm back to the old grindstone...

I also have the cold from hell. It started Monday with a sore throat and progressed until now I have a sinus infection and laryngitis. My students are highly amused that I can't talk. I can sort of squeak, but that's about it. I'll be getting some medicine tomorrow and may stay home from work, depending on how I feel when I wake up.

What a way to start the new year.

So anyway, I did have a lovely trip back to Knoxville to visit my brother Don and his wife and her girls. I had met the two youngest, but this was my first time meeting the oldest. They are nice kids, but the two oldest are teenagers and so I heard plenty of arguments between parent and teen. The youngest is only 7, and spoiled by all the others. I wouldn't let her get away with things that her family did--but she still liked me, I think. Some of my gifts went home with my dad because he had a truck and the things wouldn't fit on the plane with me. If I feel up to it, and if the weather cooperates, I may make a flying visit to Dad's to get my things.

On the writing front, not much happened. I was just so busy over the holiday, and then I caught this stupid cold and haven't the energy to compose. Maybe soon.

2002-12-20T10:50:00.000-08:00

I've unsubscribed to the writing workshop lists temporarily. If I do get online during my break, I can always go directly to the groups and read the messages there. I have a feeling I'm going to go through withdrawal, though.

So far so good on weather. It's almost noon and the skies are still clear here. Of course, I have no idea (without checking the weather) whether that is true in Flagstaff or Phoenix. I hope all is well.

My students are grumbling because I have given them an assignment today. "But it's the last day of school!" they wail. "That's right," I agree. "So it's still school, and you still have to work if I do." I don't have to turn in my grades until after the break, so I have plenty of time to grade stuff.

And it isn't as if the assignment is complex or long--we're practicing analogies, in preparation for tests next semester. I know they always have a section on analogies, so I thought I'd give the students a taste of them.

I've received two Christmas cards from my students. I'm surprised--some years I don't get any, but I don't think I've ever gotten more than one or two. Ah, the perks of being a high school teacher.

2002-12-19T12:56:00.000-08:00

We finally got some snow, but most of it is gone now. However, according the the weather forecasts, more is coming. And I have to somehow get down out of the high country before the roads become impassable. I hate driving on icy roads...

So my plans are a bit iffy. This may well be the last blog I write until I return from my break. I'll also have to temporarily unsubscribe to my oww writing and chat lists, or my mailbox will get too stuffed to accept more mail. I intend to pack Friday as if I won't make it back, and I will see how it goes. If the storm looks to be as bad as they are predicting, I intend to spend the weekend in Phoenix, attempting to reach the valley before the storm hits here up north.

Otherwise, I may miss my flight. I've been planning this trip for too long to let a snowstorm keep me from making my flight, if I can help it. Did I mention I hate icy roads?

I have reason to hate them. I slid off the interstate once when the roads were slick, and spent a rather frustrating hour in a snowbank while waiting for a tow truck to come pull me out. I slid sideways down a road once (hit black ice) for about 100 yards before I finally regained control of my truck. At least I was still going the direction I was supposed to, just not facing that way.

And did I mention I hate icy roads?

As far as I'm concerned, the timing on this storm could have been better. Like a week earlier (or later). Oh, well. I will just need lots of prayers for safe travel and good wishes so I get to my destination and back again.

2002-12-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

So I found out where my missing student ended up. Apparently security picked her up and stuck her in the lockout room. Lockout is intended for students who are late to class. I'm not happy that she didn't come back, but if she gets too many days in lockout, she gets internal suspension anyway. I would have preferred her to return, but oh well.

Trying to get the students to work this week is like trying to get them to work the last week of school. I'm afraid I caved in a bit--I'm giving them very simple assignments so they don't have to think to hard. We're doing analogies.

Writing is just not happening this week. I sit and stare at the monitor and nothing is coming. I would be better critting than writing, I think.

2002-12-17T13:58:00.000-08:00

Students seem to think teachers are stupid, for some reason.

I sent three students to the computer lab. That is the limit, because of space consideration in the computer lab. I sent one to the library. The one I sent to the library crossed out "library" on the hall pass and wrote "computer lab". The computer lab mentor-person called me and asked if I had intended to send four to the computer lab. I told him I had sent one to the library, and he told me about the altered pass. I told him to send her back to me, and that she was going to have to stay with me and not go to the library, either.

I called the library after about 5 minutes to see if she had tried to go there anyway. She did not go there. About 5 minutes after that, the computer guy called me again to see if she had arrived in class. Nope.

So now she's on referral. She can't afford that--she's been externally suspended 13 days off and on since school started. Only three days left in the semester, too. She may find herself suspended for the first few days of next semester at this rate.

So how stupid does she think we teachers are that we wouldn't notice she didn't come back when we had communicated?

Pretty stupid, I'd say. They don't realize that all teachers were at one time students themselves. Sure, it's been 25 years, but I remember teenage--probably better than some of my peers because I wasn't on drugs or alcohol at the time.

2002-12-16T11:59:00.000-08:00

We had our Christmas music service yesterday. I direct, but I think that for the most part the singers don't need me up there. Except there were two songs that I had to basically point at them for all the notes because they had a tendancy either to a) go too fast, or b) miss the notes that weren't on the beat. The performance was well received, and we got a lot of compliments.

I haven't said anything to her, but our pastor's daughter's voice sets my teeth on edge. It isn't that she can't keep a pitch--she can. It isn't that she projects too loudly--her volume is fine. No, what bothers me is that she sings nasally. She doesn't talk through her nose, but she sure sings that way. I've been trying to think of a kind way of telling her that she would sound a lot better if she didn't sing through her nose.

I guess it's a combination of the teacher in me and the vocal music major in me. I have the same reaction to some of the "popular" singers. If they can make money singing, I certainly should be able to.

2002-12-16T11:50:00.000-08:00

Bah, Star Trek!

I think I'm the only person I know who isn't agog to see Star Trek: Nemesis. I'm more hyped for The Two Towers, I guess. Since my budget is tight, TTT calls to me more than Nemesis. Frankly, Star Trek just hasn't been that important to me since I left college. Oh, I enjoyed watching the tv show when I could (in all its incarnations), but I certainly don't worry about seeing all the episodes. Guess I'm not a Trekkie. Unlike the husband of a friend of mine. He has every episode of every show and every movie on video and is in the process of collecting them on DVD. Wild. He has most of them memorized, too.

I have been getting ready for my vacation. This involves catching up on cleaning my house as well as catching up on grading papers. So my writing by necessity much take back seat until I am on my trip. I'm taking my notebook (paper, not e-notebook) with me to write things that I will want to stick in my novel. I'm hoping my brother will let me access my writing sites through his computer. We'll see.

2002-12-13T13:28:00.000-08:00

I seem to be trying to get sick or something. Bleh. First I'm cold, then hot, then cold, then hot--maybe I'm starting menopause early. I also seem to have developed a rash on the back of my right hand...it's all dry and itchy. I put some lotion on it, and it helped a little. It's still itchy and red, though--especially my thumb.

I did manage to get three crits done today. Whew! I'm maybe going to squeeze out one more, but I think I'm about critted out. I did download Pen's newest, and Wendy's too. I need to relist the challenges to see if any new ones came out that I haven't downloaded yet.

2002-12-13T08:32:00.000-08:00

Ooh, another quiz. This one I got from MerryDeath...

I am heroic couplets; most precise
And fond of order. Planned and structured. Nice.
I know, of course, just what I want; I know,
As well, what I will do to make it so.
This doesn't mean that I attempt to shun
Excitement, entertainment, pleasure, fun;
But they must keep their place, like all the rest;
They might be good, but ordered life is best.

What Poetry Form Are You?

2002-12-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

I didn't blog yesterday. I didn't write yesterday. I didn't crit yesterday. Instead I spent my time playing a stupid computer game and managed to enjoy myself anyway. Oh, and I watched LotR again. I may not have a DVD player, but I can watch the video version.

So today I have these plans for critting. I am thinking two--one I had almost finished Monday, but wanted a day to think about before posting, and the other later today--perhaps while eating my lunch. Then tomorrow after work I have a plan for two more crits. That should bring my "pieces to crit" list down to about 25....

And this weekend I'll be writing, in between laundry and dishes. So there. Pffft!

And on the weight loss front, good news! I've lost a couple more pounds, bringng my total since I started to 23. I haven't weighed this little for almost 4 years. So my health is improving even if my writing is sort of stuck on idle. (For those who are counting, that means another 80 pounds or so to go before I will reach my goal weight. Shows how bad it was...)

Speaking of health, I am slightly concerned that I may be getting another cold. Something about working with students makes teachers more succeptable to these things. So long as it stays in my head, I'll be ok, but if it goes to my lungs, ugh.

I wonder why my characters in my stories never catch colds?

2002-12-10T14:18:00.000-08:00

Success!

The comments are now working, but they are above instead of below the entries. Gotta work on that, but not today, no time.

The storm they originally predicted would get here by today is now scheduled to come in by maybe as late as Friday. Stupid weather patterns... I just hope that when the storm actually arrives it is worth something. We need the moisture!

I just read a short story three times today for my students that was a really deep story. I don't know if they got the depth, but I sure did. It wasn't a genre story, just a short story. The author is Susan Engberg, and the story was "On the Late Bus." There was one line especially that was just an awesome metaphor:

"And her stomach had grown hands that were grabbing and clawing for something to fill them."

I got all sorts of visual ideas from that, and now a story is clamoring to be told just because of that sentence.

2002-12-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

I'm seeing if I got my comments code put in correctly. Here's hoping...

2002-12-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Friday night drove the 2 hours for Eastern Star. It was our Worthy Matron's birthday, and I had totally forgotten, so when I drove back, I bought her a gift to give on Sunday. Drove back Saturday, had a headache, took ibuprofen and slept a few hours, felt much better. Sang "O Holy Night" in church Sunday morning (I think it's my favorite "classic" Christmas song), then grabbed a quick lunch and drove back the two hours for the Star Christmas dinner and to give Teri her gift. Then after dinner drove back the two hours to home.

So much for getting anything accomplished on the writing front this weekend. Yet I'm satisfied that I did much for my mental health--getting out of town not just once but twice. Today I have papers to grade, but when I've finished that it's to critting I go. Then this evening is the community Christmas concert and our church choir is singing a couple of songs in that. Then I may get home in time to write for an hour or so before bed.

2002-12-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

Oy.

The final results are in, and on average, my freshmen read at a fourth grade level (which is better, honestly, than I expected) and the sophomores read at a fifth grade level. With some notable exceptions. The highest reader (a sophomore) scored at 11th grade level. I'm shunting him into regular English when this semester is over (should have done this sooner, dangit, now he's pretty much wasted a semester). The lowest reader (a freshman) scored at the second grade level, and he isn't even classified special ed. So I'm going to file a recommendation on him and see if we can't get him some help.

Actually, I think I will try to get all my students who were above 6th grade level into regular English classes. In return, I'll be willing to take students from other teachers who are 6th grade and under, although I keep telling them ESL doesn't equal low reader. Except here. Instead of English as a Second language, they seem to think it's English for slow learners. Feh.

Next spring I'm slated to attend a special workshop to see if I can learn some methods of teaching reading to high school students. No one at my school has specific reading training, and teaching reading is much different than teaching literature. And no, ESL doesn't teach you how to teach reading, either.

Makes me realize how absolutely blessed I was to have learned to read before I even started school. Since I've "always" been able to read, I find it difficult to understand how someone couldn't read. Not wanting to read--that I understand--but unable to read? It doesn't compute in my brain.

No writing today, except a report to give to my department head. I've started reading Dickens' _A Tale of Two Cities_ because I ran across a copy and haven't read it yet. (Don't shoot me!)

I'm sleepy. And I have a 2 hour drive right after school. No blogging this weekend, though I have plans of working on finishing the edit of my main WiP.

2002-12-05T09:05:00.000-08:00

My students are pitiful readers. So far these high school freshmen read on average about 3rd grade (which I sorta knew, but it's nice to know my perception is validated by at least one norm-referenced test. I'm still scoring these things (have to hand score, as the machine for scoring won't work with these), but so far they range from second grade up to fifth grade. I may suggest the fifth grade one go into a regular English class.

On a more amusing note, I received in my school mail a flier for Lord of the Rings DVDs and other items. I was perusing it while standing outside in the 34 degree F weather watching students arrive by bus, and started laughing when I got to the page about bobblehead dolls. Front and center is Legolas, and his head is a good third of the whole. You can find a picture of it online at: http://www.lordoftheringscatalog.com/L6608_product.html

Giggle! I'm sorry I don't seem to have html links active, but you can always cut and paste.

Writing has been a bit slow. I have a slew of posts I've downloaded to crit (several of the challenge pieces are in my pile), so maybe I'll do some of those and save the writing for this weekend.

2002-12-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

What's YOUR Writing Style?
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2002-12-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

Well, so far so good on the reading test. They all behaved themselves except for my 6th hour boys, who took far too long to settle down so I could administer the test. In fifth hour I had to read the questions and choices to my wheelchair bound Spinal Bifida girl because she can't read silently and cant say the words fast enough to finish the test in time. Even without the results of this test, I know she only reads at about the 1st grade level.

It snowed today! Not a lot, and it's clearing off, but we finally got some snow. I walked to work again--I much prefer walking in snow than driving in it. Yesterday's high was only 40--I think today is slightly warmer, but not by much. I have my group therapy appointment tonight. I think I'm doing better, though Fred (one of our OWW members) told us his father died and I blubbered. Didn't go depressive, though--but then again, I did feel like eating all day, and that is one of my classic depression reactions.

I've been reading some old Louis L'amour stories--he certainly could tell a good tale! I've played with the idea of lifting one of his plots and either SFing it or Fantasying it. Thing is, that's not using my own ideas. He did have the classic "hero beats the villain and saves the girl" trope down pat, though.

I posted my challenge piece up on the workshop and from what I can tell I was the first, with Dorian a close second. I'm curious as to who else will attempt it. I'd been waiting for Dorian to post something for me to crit--it's been too long!

2002-12-02T13:59:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention that while at my brother's home I got to go see live theater. A production of a musical called "She Loves Me" (I think that was the title). This was basically the same plot as what was in the movie "You've Got Mail" (fall in love corresponding with an anonymous person who turns out to be someone you hate in real life, only to fall in love with the one you hated). I loved it! It had been so long since I was able to go to a stage production of any kind. I wish my community was interested in such things, but from past experience I know that for the most part the people around here aren't interested in theater. Oh you have a few who would attend, but very few. An audience of 40 would be good.

When I do manage to leave the Rez, I hope I can live where I can at least attend such things. Even better would be if I could be part of them. I love the theater--the set designing, the costuming, the makeup, the lights, the interaction between actor and audience. If I can't make it as a writer, maybe I could make it on the stage. But what production needs a 6'1" fat female? Feh.

What this community needs is a community theater group who might meet only to read plays, even if we didn't actually perform them.

sssssiiiiiigh...

2002-12-02T10:23:00.000-08:00

All right, I know it's been a while since I wrote, but traveling does that to me. I left for my brother's home early Wednesday morning and got there in time for dinner. My cat, Yorkie, hates traveling, though, and managed to yowl and fuss 90 percent of the time. I was listening to Dracula all the way down, and discovered that it's lots of fun listening with a yowling cat in the background.

Worse, from Yorkie's POV, was the fact that my brother and family have two cats and a dog, and Yorkie is an only cat. Sunny was pretty much invisible--she just hid in the closet for pretty much my whole visit. Delilah was a devilcat, though, and would eat Yorkie's food and use his litterbox as a sign of her dominance. She's declawed, so I wasn't worried about her hurting him; more likely Yorkie would hurt her because he still has all his claws and weighs a good 4 or more pounds more than she does. And poor Topaz wanted so badly to be friends, but she got her nose batted more than once when she came over to greet the visiting Yorkie. Golden retrievers are awfully good-natured...

Anyway, Thursday we whiled away the time by putting together a jigsaw puzzle while waiting for dinner. Plenty to eat, even though I wouldn't take the sweet potatoes or the cranberry sauce, and dad wouldn't take the asparagus. Friday my sis-in-law and niece and I went SHOPPING. Crazy to do it on the "busiest shopping day of the year," but I came away with some clothes and a few presents and lots of ideas for other presents when the frenzy lessens a bit. Saturday we golfed. I did a fine job, for me. I told dad I was going to steal his driver...I did much better with it than with my usual one. 119 over 18 holes--that's 11 strokes less than my average. Go me!

I got back home about 5 pm, yowling cat and all, safely. Saw the remains of a horrid accident on the interstate--looked like a semi rolled into another one. The officials had signs out for folks to slow down past the accident site. One trailer was blackened--probably fire. One cab was smushed from the hood to the driver's seat--but looked like the driver may have survived. Any ambulences were already gone by the time I reached the place, and crews were sweeping up debris--literally.

Woke this morning to fog, and it was almost 10:30 before the fog lifted. Still cloudy. Dreary day, that's what it is. I walked to work (I love walking in fog and snow and rain) rather than drive. I figured after 8 hours behind a wheel I could use the exercise.

Tomorrow I will be testing my students to check their reading levels. This could prove enlightening, if I report the results to the counsellors. They keep trying to put students in my ESL classes that have no need of ESL. Maybe with hard facts in front of them I will be better able to make my point that ESL is NOT for kids who just do poorly in English. I won't hold my breath, though.

2002-11-25T10:08:00.000-08:00

Got my new glasses--yay! I can finally see my students' faces from across the room again. I have to admit I hate fuzzy vision. I still use the old glasses for working on the computer and for reading and other close work. The optometrist said that it would be good for me to do that.

Finally went to see Harry Potter 2. (Spoilers may be present, so you may want to skip this paragraph.) I had a couple of little kids sitting right behind me and they were almost more fun to listen to than the movie. They didn't like the spiders. :) I was a bit disappointed in some of the special effects, but overall I think they did a decent job of bringing the story to the screen. The quidditch game was better than in the first. Kenneth Branaugh (I probably misspelled that, oh well) did a decent job as Lockhart, but I have to admit I always thought of the Lockhart character as even more flamboyant than Branaugh portrayed him. Loved the duelling club stuff, though. That scene worked better onscreen than it did in my mind after reading it. The car--well, the car was disappointing. Dobby was good. Asgog (or however it was spelled) was good, but his children were disappointing. Ffawkes was great. The final battle between Harry and the "monster of the chamber" was good. Whoever it was who played Tom Riddle did a fine job of niceness turning nasty. Myrtle was annoying.

Ok, back to the real world. Our church had a thanksgiving dinner potluck as part of the service Sunday. We'd never done that before, but we actually ate before the sermon, and following the sermon we had communion. My contribution to the pot-luck was spiced apple cider, and those who tried it really did seem to enjoy it. Still, I have over a gallon left over, so it will be going with me to my brother's house when we do Thanksgiving dinner there. We had ham and turkey as the main dishes, but lots of the stuff that goes with it, too--candied yams, cranberry sauce, stuffing, veggies with dip, and pies galore. I didn't eat any of the pies because a) I was full of the real food, and b) pies aren't on my diet plan. I don't think I missed anything because of it.

Also over the weekend I did final-editing on about 60 pages of my main WiP. I'm finding that because of the critting I've been doing on the workshop, I have become more critical of my own work, and I was getting rid of lots of unnecessary stuff and adding things that would (hopefully) clarify parts of it. I may put one of the chapters I heavily edited up on the workshop just to see if people think it is any better now. Or not.

2002-11-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

I need a vacation, I think, just to get caught up on the things I haven't been doing that I really would be better off if I did. Grading papers comes to mind. And washing dishes. And putting up the Christmas decorations. And reorganizing my bookshelves. And dusting. And vacuuming. And...

I'd rather be writing.

2002-11-21T14:28:00.000-08:00

One week to Thanksgiving and counting. Sigh. I am planning to visit my brother and meet up with Dad there. Now I hear from the weatherman that there might be a storm front moving in, just in time to mess up travel plans if it's a nasty front. Double sigh.

Today I feel pretty good. I have gotten little accomplished, but I feel good anyway. I actually got nine hours of sleep last night, so that might be part of it. I still need to deal with my server service at home, but I hope to get it all straight by tomorrow. Feh. I'm down another pound in weight. Yay! My cat was sick all over MY bed yesterday and I came home to a mess. Feh. Students are getting in trouble left and right this week...we had three gang fights at school today. Feh. Rumor is that the assembly scheduled for tomorrow is cancelled because of the fighting, but it's a Native American Heritage Week assembly, and I'd think it might be good for the kids to see it.

Remind me again of why I'm a teacher....

Still no word on my glasses. Feh. I hope I have them before I leave for my Thanksgiving holiday.

2002-11-20T12:10:00.000-08:00

I read Tempest's blog and she has a new quiz up:

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

It figures I'd be Kanga. Hehe.

Today I got another stroke. The Workshop peoples now have bees following the names of people on the membership list and on the reviewers' list. I have 3 bees, and I'm classified as a "Master Reviewer"--pretty darn cool. Thanks, Ellen et al.!

I reviewed three chapters by the same person today. I'd been holding onto them for a while, and had the time before school this morning and finished all three. I hope to get one more in today, perhaps at the end of the school day.

Still no glasses yet. Good thing I at least have my old ones so I'm not totally blind. Maybe they'll be here by Saturday when I can actually go in and get them and get them fitted properly.

2002-11-19T12:14:00.000-08:00

I got three crits posted, which is a good thing. I worked some on my main WiP...soon I'll be ready to add the scenes needed to flesh out a few areas. I may do some of that tonight, if I can stay awake. Winter is really hard on my body--I need to sleep more, it feels like. I suspect that syndrome that makes it necessary to be exposed to light or something like that. And it isn't that dramatic a decrease in sunlight, either, although the sun isn't up when I get to work and sometimes is down (or almost down) when I go home in the afternoon. Ugh.

Jen de G will have her 25th birthday this coming Thursday. I remember 25--I was in the Peace Corps, and I had a housewarming party because I had just recently gotten a house to live in. I invited all my Peace Corps buddies, and the guys were nice and left before dark so that the neighbors wouldn't start thinking I was some sort of harlot.

I remember wondering why they thought it such a horrible thing that I was living in that house alone. It wasn't all that big, although it was roomier than my current apartment. I had 4 rooms (two upstairs, and two downstairs), a bathroom (halfway up the stairs), and a kitchen. And a courtyard with a storage room outside the main house. The rooms downstairs were good for keeping things; I preferred sleeping upstairs. The bathroom consisted of a hole in the floor (though it flushed, and wasn't just an outhouse type dealie), a showerhead with taps for hot and cold water (drain was the toilet), and a sink. I remember that the electricity was a bit faulty--I had to turn the taps with a cloth or I'd get a shock. And the water was sometimes iffy--if there was no water in the tank on the roof, I didn't get a shower.

I learned that I could take a full shower with less than 2 gallons of water, if I had to. That was interesting.

I have a few reviews on my most recent post. Both people had reviewed me before. Larry is so consistant! I really appreciate his reviews, because he explains why he says what he says and he has never missed one of my postings. I need to read his before he takes them down.

I didn't get home in time to find out about my glasses. I may have to call from work but I feel uncomfortable using the school phone for personal business.

2002-11-18T14:09:00.000-08:00

I had a productive weekend, writing-wise. I am almost finished with my final edit of my novel, and I feel that realistically I can say it will be ready to go out by Christmas. Yay me! I've decided to cut out most of the scenes involving a story thread that has nothing much to do with the main characters or plot, and replace the thread with more pertinent scenes relating directly to the MC and Plot. Otherwise, I could probably be finished by the end of this month.

My glasses weren't in on Saturday, and the office is closed Sunday, so I will call this evening and find out if they have arrived or not. I swear, it seems like my eyes are just getting worse day by day. :(

I've noticed that a lot of the folks whose blogs I read include a mood and a music line in their blogs. Most of the time when I'm blogging, I don't listen to music, but I can do the mood thing, I suppose. Sooooooo...

Mood: happy, but sleepy (hmmm sounds like a couple of dwarves)

I found a good place to waste time online: www.miniclip.com

One of my students gave me that url. :) Silly students...

2002-11-15T13:28:00.000-08:00

Yay, me! I worked on and posted a piece that I'd been fiddling with for about a year. We'll see what folks have to say about it.

I hope my new glasses come in this weekend. I don't like the feeling I get walking around in a bit of a haze simply because the world is fuzzy. At least my eyesight is correctable with glasses. I imagine eventually I will get RK surgery, but the thought of someone cutting my eyes (laser or not) isn't a pleasant one.

I had another weird dream last night. This time it was all about getting my house cleaned. I guess I should actually clean, and then I wouldn't have these dreams. Maybe. :)

I'm having difficulty settling into critting mode. Maybe it is because it is too much like grading papers, and I've been doing a lot of that lately. Perhaps it would be more fair to the crittees if I wait till Monday and start fresh.

Weather's supposed to be nice for a while, if a bit cool. High today near 55, low near 30. I rather hope we get snow before Thanksgiving so it's out of the way for the holiday. Heehee!

2002-11-15T09:33:00.000-08:00

I am happy today.

My psychologist would remind me that I shouldn't depend on circumstances to be happy, but I'm happy anyway. So why am I happy? I weighed myself this morning and I'm down two more pounds, making a grand total (from my top weight) of 14 pounds. Go me! (only about 82 more to go...)

I went to my group therapy session rather than the parent conferences, and just judging by the ones who signed in, I made the proper choice. Only four parents bothered to sign the paper showing they were present. None of the students they were checking on are failing, either. That's just the way it goes. You reach high school and suddenly it seems like the parents expect their kids to do without their support at school.

I have about 15 pieces downloaded for critting from my SFF writing workshop. I hope to do a few today, and the rest next week, early. For some reason I can't log on from home, and that means it's time to call the provider and see what I did this time. But I will do that from home tonight--not good using school phone for personal business....

2002-11-14T12:08:00.000-08:00

I actually have most of my students reading today. I told them to bring their own book or they would be stuck with what I had in the room. Amazingly enough, they are being quiet, and I'd say about 80 percent actually have the book open and their eyes are following down the pages. The ones not reading are writing -- supposedly they are writing their journals or doing late work. A few items have fallen into my in box, so some are being productive.

Sometimes I wonder how my life would be different today if I had made different choices early on. I speculate on such things because while sometimes I'm discontented with what I'm doing, most of the time I enjoy what I've done and where I am now. Still, it's interesting to speculate...

What If ... I didn't take piano lessons because my brothers were and it looked fun? Well, I would not have learned to read music at a young age, I would not have started my flute lessons in 5th grade, I would not have joined the Jazz band as a junior and learned to play the saxophone and I certainly wouldn't have met Woody Herman. I doubt I would have majored in Music Ed as an undergraduate, either.

What If ... I got a job right out of college instead of moping around Mom and Dad's looking for that perfect job? I would never have joined the Peace Corps and discovered my love of English, I never would have learned Arabic, I never would have visited Germany or the Netherlands, I never would have really understood what being in a "third world country" actually meant. I would never have ended up on the Reservation teaching English.

What If ... I had actually dated in college? Would I have married, had kids?

I believe it was something in an old "Dear Abby" column where she said (in essence) to those who wondered if they should do something that would take time: "You say 'I'll be X years old by the time I've finished!' I say, 'You'll be X years old in the same number of years, whether you try this or not.'"

So when I think, "I'll be 50 before I get published!" I need to remember that I'll be 50 in the same amount of time whether I get published or not, so why not at least try. If I wait till I'm fifty to try it, what have I accomplished?

2002-11-13T12:25:00.000-08:00

I think I'm finally getting my students thinking when I have them do writing assignments. Some of them actually come up with some good stuff, and even though they complain, they are definitely improving. Currently my emphasis is on producing writing that is easy to follow, has a plan (either a plot or some essay format) and that looks good. It took me this long to get them used to the idea of double spacing and not typing in all capital letters. I don't get it...what's so hard about typing using both upper and lower case?

Anyway, today the freshmen got the assignment of writing a story using one of the following titles: A Time I Laughed; A Time I Cried; or A Time I Got Angry. Can you tell we're working on personal narratives? The sophomores are to write an opinion paper on: The US should not worry about what other countries do; the US should care about what other countries do; or Three things that would improve the US. They actually do have good ideas--it's just getting them to articulate what they are thinking about.

Parent Conferences are tomorrow night, but I will be missing them to go to a doctor's appointment. I asked my department head if I needed a doctor's note as proof, but she said not to worry about it. I never get a lot of parents anyway. At the first one we had this year, I had what was for me a good turnout--11 parents showed up. Amazing! I average about 8. Considering I teach about 90 students, that is actually pretty sad. ::sigh:: Something about high school makes parents stop being as involved as when their kids are little. Maybe they think they don't need the same concern over their work...

2002-11-13T08:29:00.000-08:00

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was sitting, pen and manuscript in hands, and all these people were telling me what to cut and what to add to my WiP. And the thing was, none of these people knew anything about writing...even though for some reason I had to include all their suggestions and I was writing frantically trying to get it all down...

And then my cat jumped up on my stomach and told me it was time to fix his breakfast. I didn't know whether to be glad or mad at him.

Anyway, I got to thinking that maybe the dream was triggered by the knowledge that I do need to finish that final edit and get a synopsis and three off if I want to get anywhere with it.

2002-11-12T14:43:00.000-08:00

I went to the optometrist yesterday and found out that while I don't need bifocals yet, I did need a prescription change. The doc said I could still use my old glasses for close work (computer, reading) but I'll need the stronger prescription for other things. He also said that if I keep my old glasses and use them as reading glasses, my next exam shouldn't show a significant change. So guess I'll keep my old ones by my computer. :)

I didn't feel very well today...headache and hot and cold flashes. I suspect one of my students has given me a bug...ah, the hazards of public school teaching.

On the writing front, not much accomplished, although I jotted down a couple of ideas for later development. I was just too headachy to accomplish anything firm.

2002-11-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, once more into the breech...I've been having technical difficulties posting. I think maybe it will work now, so this particular post is an experiment...

2002-11-05T19:36:00.000-08:00

I'll try this again and see if it posts.

I can't believe that my last blog posted three times...I kept getting a message saying it didn't go through, so I kept trying...ugh!

Today I went to the library with each of my classes to get them to pick out a book for a report. I gave them all a list of lots of books from all sorts of genres as well as just "fiction" types, and they did a pretty good job of picking things they will like (I hope). I even got my handicapped child who refuses to read to pick out a book by Cynthia Voigt. :) I'm such a good teacher! ;-)

I'm pleased with my progress on my diet...I'm down 12 pounds from my top weight, and while I'm going slow, it's sure nice to see that needle on the scale go down instead of sticking or going up! Only about 88 pounds to go....

On the writing front, I'm falling behind. I probably need to discipline myself more if I want to be as successful as all my friends who have been getting published left and right. After this week my schedule should let up a bit and I will have more free time.

2002-10-28T13:31:00.000-08:00

Almost three months since my last posting. I have been doing other things, obviously, some writing related, most related to my work. I managed to start a new project (me bad), continued editing/proofing my main WiP (yay me) and fit in some reviews (yay me). I posted a few more pieces on the OWW, and I'm getting some good crits--not necessarily ones to make me happy, but ones that make me think and consider how to improve.

I did finally go get a mole biopsied that I'd been worrying about for some time. I am happy to say it was benign! I visited dad during my fall break. I would have gone down sooner, but my van needed a new starter. And a new battery. And it still needs some work on it, but at least now it runs.

I'm also happy that I have managed to lose 10 pounds over the last 5 weeks--2 pounds a week! I realize I would be healthier if I could take off some weight, and that slow and steady is better than fast and sudden, if I want permanant weight loss. It has been a matter of both eating more sensibly and exercising more frequently. And making sure I drink enough water. Now only about 90 pounds to go....

Weather is finally showing that winter is on the way. The last four days we were frozen in the morning, although we still reach a bit above 60 F during the day. The students are starting to complain at how cold the classroom is--and they're right! The janitors haven't switched over to heat yet, and we still have air conditioning! I may need to put in a work order.

2002-07-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

Amazing, isn't it, how life gets in the way of writing? This can be frustrating if you love to write. At any rate, since I last put anything up here, my mom died. She left this life at about 5:45 AM Mountain Standard Time on Sunday, June 30, 2002. Her heart just gave out on her, and we think possibly a blood clot was the immediate culprit. The cancer had weakened her, though, and she was just unable to fight her ill health any more.

We had a memorial service on July 5. Both my brothers and their wives were able to be there, as were both my nephews and my niece. Mom's oldest sister and her husband were there. Dad's brother couldn't make it--he was hospitalized that week because of complications with Parkinson's Disease. Poor Dad is having a rough year of it... Also able to come were both of Mom's cousins, and a niece and a nephew of hers. All together at the service we had close to 100 people show up. Mom was loved very much! And I will miss being able to call and chat with her.

On the writing front, I really haven't done much. I've been way busy helping Dad get things settled and getting ready for the start of school. School started yesterday! I can't believe the summer went by so fast.

I won't be blogging for a while because I have to be away for a few days. Leave tomorrow morning and return Sunday night. Whew! But perhaps once I'm back I'll be able to schedule in some writing time.

2002-06-18T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, it's sure been a while since I made it back here. I'm now at my parents' home, have been for the last week straight. Mom is not doing very well. She is weak and she has trouble eating (which doesn't help with her energy levels). Some days are really bad; some days are not so bad; no days are good.

I'm glad I'm able to be here at this time, though. I feel like I'm being useful...helping dad so he isn't the only major caregiver, cooking, cleaning, and just generally doing what needs done. Good thing I enjoy cooking!

Today I made an egg salad for mom, and she was able to eat some of it. She's getting tired of the baby food mush and soups, so I thought we could try something a little more "chew" worthy. She said it tasted good (I didn't eat any--it had green olives with pimientos in it and I hate those). Tomorrow we'll try chicken pie.

On the writing front, I did go into my files and reconfigure my Stars novel for manuscript format. Pretty soon it will be printworthy and I can get a synopsis and three off to an editor or agent. Perhaps early in August.

That's about all for now. About time for me to get ready for bed.

2002-05-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

I will make this quick but may add more tonight when I get to my parents' home. Mom will get to come home, but she will need a lot of care. Mom mentioned the possibility of a home nurse. I'm away. . . .

2002-05-22T14:10:00.000-07:00

My dad called this afternoon. Mom is in the hospital. Dad said that he thinks this is "terminal" and that she won't be coming home. She went in last Thursday, and he's been trying to get ahold of me since then. My phone doesn't ring. Something wrong with it. He also said he's already told both my brothers, so at least I don't have to do that. It sounded like, although he didn't out and out say it, that he would like me to go down right after school lets out on Friday. He asked when I was finished, at any rate.

So now I will be calling as soon as I get home from work, to see if I can get more details. If this is as bad as Dad thinks it will be, I may have to drastically change my summer plans, but sometimes life does that to you. It's a good thing I accept that my plans can't always be the way I want them to be.

This is really difficult to express. I feel sort of numb, with periods of great sorrow. It isn't my usual depression--this has a definite cause, for one thing. I may be heading to their home sooner than I thought, though. I had already planned to be there for most of the summer; I rather hoped I'd have a bit more time, though.

Of course, I might be anticipating. Mom could recover and come home. Cancer is such an erratic disease...

I think I'm having trouble with my numbness. I should feel something, or else there's something wrong with me! My psychologist would have a field day with me...

And yet, I've had Mom for a long time--all 42 of my years on this planet she's been there, a backstop to shore up against when things go wrong. I have been so blessed in our relationship, especially in the last few years when it's been more like best friends than like mother/daughter. Maybe that was because we knew the cancer would get her, eventually.

I just didn't want it quite this soon.

2002-05-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

I hate this blogger. I just tried posting a huge piece and the crazy thing futzed on me.

I'll try again later. Maybe.

2002-05-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling pretty good about myself today. I managed to spend a whole hour on revising my "Eternity" story, and I also got some scenic bits written for my "Eagle" story. I'm on a roll! All told, I probably wrote about 300 words, is all, but I deleted some bits from "Eternity" and added bits; and the scene (IMNSHO) is lovely...all bright and shiny as Eagle starts his new life...ohhh, some days I do like what I write!

I'm hoping I'll get an opportunity to see Spiderman the movie this weekend--I'm thinking everyone will be at Episode II and leave the Spidy theater for me! Bwahahahaha! Not that I don't want to see Episode II, too, but I totally refuse to stand in line for more than 30 minutes to see *any* movie. I'll wait till the crowds become less, or buy ahead of time or something, but I won't stand in line. Guess I'm getting grumpy in my old age.

I saw the trailer for "The Sum of All Fears" and I'm a bit disappointed--it doesn't appear to be following the Clancy story line all that much. I know, movies and books don't usually match up very well, but this seemed more away from the story line than the previous Clancy adaptations. Of course, with Ben Aflack and Morgan Freeman in it, of course I'll go see it. Perhaps I can enjoy it even if it isn't Clancy.

School is definitely winding down. Attendance has fallen off considerably--my best attendance, not all that surprisingly, was in my senior class (they want to pass so they can graduate!). I'm looking at the grades in one of my smaller classes and I'm really sad to see so many failing (only 3 passing of 9...what's with that?), especially since I know they would be doing even worse in any other English class. I'm thinking I'll pass Earl even though he's only got 54%, since he is special ed. and really struggles. He had a 76% in the first half of the semester...so I believe he'll pass the class if I have my averages figured properly. He tries so very hard. Some of the Spec. Ed. students seem to think they only have to attend and I'll pass them. Earl tries, though, and I think that is much more worthy of reward than those who sit and figure "body in class=passing grade". Hmph.

I have a pizza party tonight with the teachers' union group. I haven't been all that active this year--five years of being secretary then building representative, I felt I deserved a break. Possibly next year I can start getting active again. It would be nice if we didn't have to negotiate every year just to get our experience raises...

2002-05-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

I hate giving grades. I want to encourage all my students, but way too many of them have poor grades. I give them more chances than I ought, and they still fail. Bah.

No writing achieved today. I've been too busy dealing with end-of-school crap.

2002-05-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Last night in chat we were talking about resolutions to our stories. That is something I really need work on! Turns out that the resolution ought to relate at least somehow to the beginning. For example, if you start with a setting, you need to return to that setting; if you start with a particular day, you should end with a particular day. That makes a lot of sense, and explains why I hate my endings so much.

Also in chat I brought up my problem with my Lisa/Dolgar subplot. Thanks to the folks in the chat, I now have a direction in which to take it. I'm sure glad we have that chat!

Today I'm grading papers, but this weekend I'll be writing. Writing the Lisa/Dolgar deal, writing finals, writing scenes to add to my novel... I'll be surprised if I don't get out at least 5000 words this weekend. I want to get these papers graded so I can feel free to write. Teaching would be so much more fun without the papers to grade...

I will have to take time to go to the vet and get Yorkie his prescription food--he's about out. I sure wish they sold his food in the grocery store so I wouldn't have to make the special trip. But it's probably just as well; I can stop at the clinic and pay that overdue doctor bill, too. Bleh.

2002-05-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

Wow, here it is Wednesday and I haven't written in my blog Since last Friday. Shows why I stopped keeping a journal, doesn't it?

Called Mom on Sunday, and she sounded in relatively good spirits. She is still weak, but knowing Mom she'll fight this as long as she can.

Haven't done much writing these last few days. I've been getting all my ducks in a row for the end of the school year. I did manage to do some more editing on the Early Jana stories. My subs on the workshop are still getting hits, but not getting reviews...ah well, I should be used to that by now. I imagine the YA stuff will start coming in next week. I haven't done any reviewing lately either, and my list of "to crit" just keeps getting longer and longer...

I've been reading some of the other blogs from Tempest's OWW blog page. I find it sort of interesting to see how other people think through things. It's fun to see how varied we really are.

I was chatting with Wendy and she is interested in meeting up in July when she's traipsing through the southwest desert to get some ideas for her Sands of Mime story. That should be interesting. Maybe I can play tour-guide a little. I find it rather odd, really, that I've never set a story in a desert, considering I live (or have lived) most of my life in one. Maybe because to me it isn't fiction?

Oops, back to work now. Maybe I'll have time to write more later today.

2002-05-03T14:46:00.000-07:00

I'll be gone all day tomorrow. Not sure when I'll get home on Sunday, either. At least I only have to drive the usual 2 hours--someone else can take the 4 hour shift!

Three more weeks before the end of the semester. This is always a really freaky time of year with the students. I certainly hope they keep working--otherwise they will not pass, some of them.

2002-05-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

Travel is, IMO, about the best way to get a feel for settings. You can't write fluently about the seacoast if you've never seen it; you can't understand the grandness of the Grand Canyon just from photographs; you can't feel the loneliness of a wide open plain without traveling to South or North Dakota; You can't imagine the vision of "America the Beautiful" without standing at the top of Pike's Peak.

Getting away from the USA...I now understand when someone writes about the Scottish Highlands, because I've seenseen the heather on the hills. If someone mentions Amsterdam and her canals, I'm right there with them, and once again experience the sights, sounds, and smells of that amazing city. If I want to write about a land where flat coastal lands rise to rolling foothills which rise yet again to impressive mountains over 8000 feet high, am I writing of a fictional place? No, I'm writing of Yemen.

Our world has so many exciting, inspiring places! I know I'll never finish visiting her, until my body has left this world for another (we none of us are here forever, after all). And every new place gives me that much more fodder for writing a convincing setting.

Ok, I'm off...gotta write...gotta write...

2002-05-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

Why is it the song from Camelot keeps running through my head?

"It's May! It's May! The lusty month of May! The time of year when everyone goes blissfully astray!"

It sure doesn't feel much like May...it's windy and cool for this time of year. But the students definitely have spring fever. Especially my seniors.

Yay me! I got another 300 words on my Eagle story! Doesn't sound like much, but when you consider that I feel happy with getting even 100 words out a day, I feel very productive. Now I have setting for my chapter 3, which really needed it. I also did a general plotline so I know how much longer to keep the two MCs apart before they meet. Looks like it will be about Chapter 9 before they're together.

Mom sounded a bit stronger on the phone, and that also makes me glad. I know she's not well, yet, but even a little improvement is encouraging. Sometimes, knowing that the cancer will eventually get her, I get depressed, which doesn't help either of us. So little encouragements like the fact that she sounds a bit stronger really help with the depression deal.

I have to make some megaphones (12 of them!) for Saturday. Why did I promise I'd do that? Bah! And I don't think I can fit in my dress, either...I'll have to use a girdle I bet. UGH I sometimes hate that copper formal...

Oh, I guess that calls for an explanation of sorts. I'm Grand Organist for the Arizona Order of the Eastern Star this year, and our dresses are these lovely copper formals. Only thing is, even when I got the dress, it was snug. I think I've put on 10 pounds since then, and I don't know if I can even get into it. Fortunately, I don't absolutely have to fit into it until the end of July, so I have 2 months to lose the 15 pounds or so I need to have it fit right. After the first week in August I never have to look at it again if I don't want to. Like that pink concoction from eleven years and 50 pounds ago....Why is it easier to gain weight than lose it? Bah! I want to be like mom and have to work to gain weight.

On a different note, my leg is both better and worse. The original incision has finally healed up, but now I have a new spot that I really should go to the doctor about. The problem is finding the time to do so. It sucks not having any sick leave left for this year...

I'm going to be traveling this weekend, so I need to be sure I take along my writing journal. I'd take something to edit, but then I'd just be rehashing instead of composing. Maybe I could do both...

2002-05-01T13:37:00.000-07:00

Oh, I forgot one quiz:

which children's storybook character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

2002-05-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

I went to my psychologist yesterday for my depression group meeting. One of our number lost her father, so was not there, but the three of us who made it made for an interesting session. I was rather concerned because rather than becoming depressed when something upset me, as is my usual method of dealing with life, I was feeling anger.

Apparently, though, this is a good thing. Seems that depression is anger directed at self; by catching myself at the "anger" stage, I'm actually showing progress because I'm keeping it from damaging me as much as if I had let it go into depression. I still hate what I call the "psycho-babble"--instead of saying "Mr. X makes me soooooo mad!" I'm supposed to say "I allowed myself to become angry at Mr. X." And yet, I'm beginning to realize that the switch really is important. No one can make me mad. I allow myself to feel anger.

Which isn't to say that sometimes you can't be angry. Sometimes anger is the proper reaction. It is when that anger makes me feel "lower than whale crap" that it is a bad thing.

But enough of my psychoanalyzing. I'm just happy I am improving. Spending half your life depressed is no way to live.

I managed to do some editing on my "early Jana" stories...not exactly "new" writing, but I've been away long enough I could see some stuff that needed changing. I posted my Young Adult piece on the OWW workshop, so it's ready for the 8th graders to take a gander at it. I've already got 2 reviews on it...some people work pretty fast! One reviewer was concerned that having my female character mention "they beat me" was pushing what might be considered acceptable for YA literature, but unless I'm totally off (which is possible) I think YA is the 14-18 year old range. And if I know that age group at all (and I should, since I teach them every day), they see worse all the time.

I have a couple more surveys (stolen from Tempest's blog...heh):

which "monty python and the holy grail" character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

which 80s hair band are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

Now if I could just figure out how to do the links on the side thing...The Help section hasn't helped with that question. Hmm.

2002-04-29T14:29:00.000-07:00

http://www.advisorteam.com/

Just a place to test your personality. I ended up an ISFJ.

Bad Carol! No writing achieved today. :( I feel icky, which is probably why. I hope to do better tomorrow.

2002-04-28T15:24:00.000-07:00

I had a great Saturday. Went to an SCA mini collegium and learned how to make a wimple and a pillbox and made myself an armguard in the leather class and sang in the barding class...loads of fun.

Now I have to do some laundry and dishes, and then I should be ready for work tomorrow.

2002-04-26T13:56:00.000-07:00

I got two crits out. Now I need to grade papers. When I finish that, I can feel free to write some of my own stuff. No critting on the weekend this time--gonna be scads busy. More later, maybe.

2002-04-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

I am trying to change the title of my journal here. "Day to Day" just doesn't thrill me. I'm trying "Thoughts & Feelings" to see if I like it better.

I got to thinking last night. (Yes, I do think now and then!) I really appreciate my OWW ML buddies and their composition skills. Of all the lists I belong to, this bunch shows more clarity and enjoyment of the English language than all my others combined. Yes, that's how it should be--we're all writers, even some published writers. Even our emails leave others in the dust. Our rough drafts start where others second or third drafts end.

But then, I'm anal about writing conventions. I know I don't write perfectly all the time, but I know good writing when I see it.

I intend to do at least 2 crits today--if I work hard at it maybe 4. Some day I may catch up with Larry, but he always seems to be at least 5 posts ahead of my crits. sigh Then this weekend I'll do my creative bits and get some actual writing in. That will be in between learning a new craft at an SCA thingy. I plan to bring my notebook along for when it gets slow.

I have the students doing vocabulary today. They seem to for the most part enjoy this activity. Some even start using the "new" words in their writing, which is what I want them to do.

Now, let's see if this works the way it's supposed to...

Find your Role-Playing
Stereotype at mutedfaith.com.
[Angel.]

Shapeshifter, that's me.

2002-04-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

I found the money-pouch! Praise God...I was not looking forward to having to replace the items in it. The biggest loss would have been the $260 in cash I need to pay some bills. Driver's licence and debit card are simple compared to that.

I was a bad writer...I didn't get any writing done. I didn't even get any critiques done. I did grade a lot of papers, though. Bad writer, but good teacher. So I'll probably do overtime critting tomorrow and dig in on the writing over the weekend.

Parent conferences went pretty well. I actually had 8 parents show, which is double what I expected.

2002-04-25T10:01:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it...I can't find my money-pouch. The last time I remember seeing it was just before parent conferences last night. I hope it turns up in a pocket or my purse or something. If I can't find it, I'll need to cancel 1 credit card and replace my driver's license...sigh

2002-04-24T12:47:00.001-07:00

I'm not feeling well today. I have one crit ready to post, but just haven't had the energy to post it. I'm not keeping up at all, it seems. I'm worried about Mom; I want to call her, but don't know if I'll get a chance today. Parent conferences tonight. If I have more than three parents show up, I'll consider it a success.

I just looked at that first paragraph. Talk about rambling! Shows that I don't think as well when I don't feel well. Bleh. Ah well, I did have an idea for a story. I'm thinking of another take on the old fable about the old man and the fish. I don't quite know how I'll pull it off, but maybe I could use the tale as an allegory (as if it wasn't already) to intersperse with my actual story. I've already jotted down an opening in longhand in my writing notebook. Wonder if I'll ever afford an electronic notebook. Probably not till I'm rich and famous. Ha!

I'm trying to decide exactly what to do over my summer break. I'll be here at least through the first week of June, but then I intend to visit my parents for a bit. The thing is, I don't know how long I can stand to stay with them. In the past, two weeks seemed to be about the top limit of how long I could stand to stay. But with Mom being sick, I sort of want to stay longer. I just don't want to feel like I have to be there. I like being able to come and go when I want. One of the advantages of being single, with only a cat to worry about.

If I do go visit for a while, I'll have to take all my writing stuff. I may have to also take my computer, even with them having one. iMac and PC aren't compatable, usually. Though each has advantages and disadvantages.

A stale, dusty smell fills the air
A red-brown haze hampers vision
A warm wind caresses my face
A distant bird sings of Spring.

2002-04-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

2002-04-23T12:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the tests are now over, for today, anyway. Now the rest of the day is pretty much shot, since we only have the students for 24 minutes each period. Ridiculous, trying to come up with some way to occupy them for 20 minutes or so. I decided a simple review just to award points to those who did come to class is my best bet. Three in my first class. I imagine the rest of the day will be similarly light on attendance.

I managed two crits (one almost ready to post) today. Go me! I also did a bit of work on Ch. 4 of my Eagle story. If Charlie will let me know when the YA stuff is a go, I will have something for that, even if it means digging up a previously workshopped piece.

2002-04-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well, now we'll see if I can keep this up or not. Today is a good day to try it, since the kids are all taking the Stanford 9 and I jut have to watch them. Bleh.